Reflected

It has been weeks since the saga started...

And it is my birthday month...



A month which I was supposed to be real happy and awaiting surprises for me...

I do admit I love surprises...

I got surprises and touched too...

But it is really kinda complicated mixed feelings rather...

While I was really happy, I was kinda worried and guilty over lots of things...

My first birthday celebration,

It should be the last one to be celebrated with all my uni gals...

However, it turns out to be ugly...

Some of them turn up with a rather sour face and some conflict happened which no one ever planned for it to happened...

While my other gals tried hard to help me prepare everything by buying me my favorite cake, Oreo Cheese Cake...

Actually I felt rather like making them spent so much for me on my birthday...

I actually did ask or hint them not to spend so much...

Just like a normal gathering or rather a small outing will be more than enough for me...

I felt so guilty like making everyone spent so much when everyone is facing some kind of financial problems...

I felt rather unhappy when I should feel happy for this grand celebration...

Till today, someone felt so excited called me telling me she was so happy seeing my birthday can be celebrated in such happy ways...

My reaction was rather cool...I do not know why...

And now, the saga continues and everything turned out to be rather complicated...

Involving lots people in..

And no one knows wat happened...

And some have cried, and some worried...

For me, I was rather calm...

I do not know why...

I asked myself, what happened Yar Ching???

I seem like turn out to be some cold-blooded animal...

I thought I will start shedding tears...

Rather, I am not...

I felt like just let everything be la... Nothing I can do also...

But this teach me a lesson...

I should treasure my friendship and this has let me know how precious my friends and those care for me are...

I finally confronted someone..I messaged him by asking him...

"Did you treasure our friendship??I told him I did a lot..."

I did not tell him what happened...I used to think, since he did not treasure it, so let it be...

But deep inside my heart,I knew he will..

Since we have so many conflicts together and I usually throw some stupid tantrums at him...

However, he still always pamper me by usually he is the one like "manja" me back...

That's why I really treasure our friendship...

He is the one who kinda bring me from a real naive gal to the me today...

He shows me the patience and maybe he trust that God will bring me to where I am today...

At here, Shearer, I would like to tell you, Thanks for everything and thanks for showing me the Love, Care and though we seldom keep in touch, I know deep inside your heart you still care for me much...The other day, when u asked me whether did I get well, I felt touch and my heart melts....

I finally know something...

Whenever those I cherish real lots sometimes hurt me, I will usually drop tears from inside my heart...

Usually this tears just roll down on their own,and I cant control it...

And to another my beloved buddies, I will usually message them some stupid message...

Maybe rather I just wanted them to show some attention to me...

*sigh*

Pity them also, I always throw stupid tantrums to them

And yet, they still pamper me so much...

I "heart" them real lots...

They are always here with me though we have been separated real far...

When they told me that they might be coming to celebrate my birthday for me,

I was real happy...Always counting the days...

Though I kept asking them whether are they real free, inside my heart I really want them to come..

I am one of those gals who never tell the true things out...

I really want them come because I really,really miss them...

I just felt like seeing them maybe kinda give me some motivation...

End up, they are real busy and did not come...

Though, one of them real sad, however, I kept assuring her, it's ok..

At that moment, I really didn't feel sad at all...

Cause I know they are busy for their study...

Maybe they felt like they broke their promise again...

But I did not think that way...

Inside my heart, I can feel that they are really passionate to come..

But due to some circumstances, they are unable to come...

It's ok...Really ok...

Here, My loveliest ji mui, though we are far far frm each other, I know our hearts are been binded together...Thanks for all those message..inspirations, supporting and most important those blessings and love you gals have showered to me make me love you gals even more...6 years of friendship and it is still growing!!!But, all these have just made our friendship even better and binded us even closer together!!!

U guys wishes is something which I felt is the greatest gift of everything...

This is something true from the bottom of my heart...

To be honest, I felt happy seeing present...

But I felt really happy seeing messages, cards and wishes...

This is because all of these are something which you really use your heart and said out hoping the person can receive it and have blessings...

Isn't this something much miraculous and wonderful???

One person ever tell me, FRIENDS are like rainbow...They are colourful and they fill up your days

I felt I was really blessed this year...Dunno why this year I just feel like very touched

Just a simple "happy birthday" from people will kinda make me wanna cry already...

And the next day after my birthday, I fell sick and lying on bed not going class...

Some many people worried bout me..messaging me everyday just to see whether I am ok not...

With all their prayers and warmest regards, I got well already...

Though my face real pale now, scare quite a number of people, even myself, but I felt happy because I am consider fit now...

Though sometimes I will feel dizzy and weak...

Suddenly make me miss home so much...

Usually by now, guess my mum will start giving me those stuffs can help my immune system back...

*sigh*

We will never know how good home is until we face problem...

Anyway, so much to rant but...

I dun wan to be called an aunty just because I like to rant...

Hahahaa....

Hopefully everything will turn to be good again..

However, one of the involver in the saga said to me,

Everything can no longer be like last time because she doesnt know how to face us and asked us just let her be...

LET IT BE then...

Nothing can be done...

Just get over it and

LIFE GOES ON!!!

That's the lesson I have really learnt!!!

Since they don't appreciate everything, and maybe everything is already meaningless to them, why should we cry over it then??

If they know how to appreciate everything, and one day there already knew the importance, we will always open our hands widely welcoming them back...

However, I did know how others feel..since their relation is so close rather than us, maybe they think it is hard to accept...

All I can do is ...

PRAY!!!

P/S: I fell on love or maybe it was love at first sight with something...Hoping to own it...Hahahaha..but I know it's hard!!!I really really like it...Can someone buy me???