Rather ....

My emotions is quite complicated now...

I really dunno how to say....

But, I am sad becos I saw my something which is like quite abnormal to happen

Yes, though it doesn't involve me in, I do feel sad...

Sometimes I really hate really hate myself for always being so emotional...

I always tell myself,

"Ching ah Ching, you shouldn't be like this"

However,I still cant change myself...

And yet, this time I did not know whether I have indirectly cause all this to happen...

Is this time so serious??

This scenario has last for few days already...

And me and someone really cant stand and feel like telling or maybe asking them don like this,

It really hurts us seeing like this...

I dunno what should I say...

Maybe I should be responsible...

Becos of my b'day celebration??

I did not call for all these...

Indeed, I was rather dunno hw to say..mixed emotion tat day...

Touched to see some of my closest one tried so hard make me happy...

Rather disappointed to see some of them come without any happy or smile...

And yet, it seems like everyone rushing and have conflict just because of me...

And now, it seems like everything have got tense....

What should I do other than continue praying to God??

I am feeling quite happy now as I see some good changes as I am getting much better from my sickness...

Though I did scare my supervisor...

Sorry my supervisor for letting you see my pale face...

After he told me, I went to washroom and see myself,

Yes, he was right, my face was as pale as a sheet of paper...

This is so true...

After that, during lecture, I felt so suffering...

I hardly breath and was biting my own lips to give me strength...

I was praying to God at that moment...

Thank God for hearing my prayer...

I promise myself..."No more cold drink..."

And to everyone out there reading this, I hope u gals really learnt from me...

Really it is really suffering...I used to never have all this crappy stuffs till now..

I learnt the lessons well enough...

I did not know what I have done to make "someone" who is real concern bout me angry with me,

I wished to share my everything with you...

That's why I did not hide anything from you...

I did not expect you will throw such a big tantrums at me which will cause me fear till I feel like crying...

I know I have always shown you tat I did not care, but indeed I do care bout you..

I know what are you thinking...

I do know...

And all I can tell you is ....

I am not prepared for anything to happen..

I feel real happy with my current life...

And I cherish every moment with you...

You were something great which happened in my life...

Thanks for being part of my life...

And please forgive me, if I did not consider you feelings well enough...

You are as important as all my buddies in my life...

I love each and everyone of you...

All of you were the greatest things that have been part of my life...

I did not know how to show my love and appreciation to each and everyone of you...

Whenever I looked back at those cards I received and messages and pictures of those things which I received on my birthday,

I cant help but seeing my tears rolling down...

Though it is as simple as one message...

But it meant a lot to me...

I saw those who wished me and I was being showered by all of your love...

I was thinking how lucky and blessed I was...

And I do not one see anyone of you not happy...

As this will make me much worried...

So as part of my wished, I always pray everyone will be happy always...

Anyway, I really hope I can see changes tomolo...

As I awaits everyday with a new hope...

Waiting excitedly for what great things will be awaiting for me...

I wish the "three" of you will have your laughter back...

And I hope the three of you will never leave each other alone...

Lastly, hope "you" will talk back with me ya...

Miss you all those who are real far far from me, but always in my heart....